Hey peeps. What's happenin'? Apparently, there a few of you out there who are actually interested in what I have to say. Wow... You must be really bored to read my stuff. I'm sitting here on the 4th floor of Hale Library waiting to go to my 12.30. I overslept my 10.30 this morning because I didn't hear my alarm until 10.25. Oh well, it's called "dead week" for a reason, right?
Last night I hit a really huge slump in my life. So far, my life has been about rebounds and second chances. All my frustrations came to a head around 1 in the morning when I saw some pictures on Facebook. God dammit, Facebook is so evil but soooooo addictive. Those pictures brought back old memories and disappointments (more of the latter than the former). Here's some background:
Fall 2001. I flunked out. Yup. It happens to the best of us. I didn't party in my youger days at K-State because I was afraid of getting bad grades. Ironically, making money was the cause of my dismissal. Before college I never had a job so when the opportunity came to make money, I made as much as I could. Working many late nights and weird schedules created problems with my sleeping... I slept through all my classes. Funny, but true.
Spring 2002. I enrolled at Cloud County Community College in Junction City. I stayed at home, attended classes, and worked at the Union. That following summer I was offered a full-ride scholarship to run track for them at their main campus. Seeing an opportunity -a second chance- to compete again, I took it.
Fall 2002 - Spring 2004. My years at Cloud. In that amount of time, I managed to build a name and reputation for myself as a mentor, a student-athlete, a tutor, a friend and a Resident Assistant. I was happy again because I felt worthwhile, like I could do anything. Then I graduated.
Fall 2004. My return to Kansas State University. Almost everyone I knew from my previous stint was gone. I had to start over again. At the same time, I walked on to the track team in hopes of having one last hurrah. Although I bitched about the early morning workouts and study tables, I loved every single minute of it. I felt elite and unstoppable... Until my old GPA became an issue. After an entire semester of busting my ass and training as hardly as I possibly could, I learned I couldn't compete for K-State because my GPA was too low. The NCAA wouldn't include my transfer GPA into the equation, which really, really fucking sucked. HUGE DEPRESSION followed. To make a long story short, it was all for nothing.
Spring 2005. I almost gave up. I hardly slept, I hardly ate, I went through the motions of life out of routine and necessity. I knew my family and friends loved me but the fact remained that I couldn't do the #1 thing I wanted to do: Wear a purple and white uniform and represent Kansas State University. Oh well... My name at least made it on their website.
Fall 2005. I picked myself up and dusted myself off. Each passing semester brought me closer to walking across the stage and putting the bad memories behind. Rough rebound but it worked out all right.
Spring 2006. Holy-fucking shit. I tell myself things must get worse before they can get better, right? My GPA is the biggest fucking hinderance of my life. I can't enroll in the College of Education, I can't join a fraternity, I can't run track... I'm ice-skating uphill. Out of the many can'ts I've encountered, I know for sure I can do one thing: LEAVE.
Post-Spring 2006. Who knows. This summer will ultimately determine what my future holds. For those who don't know the story, wish me luck.
Moral of the Story: When life gives you lemons, get some salt and a bottle of tequila, then drink yourself stupid. | 
